I’ve read a lot of LinkedIn posts recently about mental health. January was quite a popular month for talking about mental health, especially when people want to strong start to the New Year and aim to maintain this mindset throughout the year. There was a lot of conversation around Blue Monday (the third Monday of January) and most recently Time to Talk day, which was on the 2nd February and founded by mental health charity Mind. Whilst the former example was coined following a press release from a travel company in 2005, it is great to see so many people being open about their mental health experiences, especially on a platform such as LinkedIn.
Seeing all of these posts has made me reflect on my own mental health journey and recent experiences. I don’t think the major life changes I have experienced have quite settled in, nor have I really reflected on how these changes have impacted me, as they all happened in such quick succession. In early July last year I broke up with my ex-partner, who I had been with for 4 1/2 years. I moved back in with my parents in Leicester and then by the end of August, I had an offer accepted on the house which I now call home. Between August and November I was quickly learning about the housing market, mortgages and interest rates, liaising with my solicitor and mortgage advisor, and researching into specialist insurance as my house has had a history of subsidence (that caused a lot of stress during the house buying process). By early December I had moved back to Tamworth in my new home, to live on my own for the very first time.
Writing this blog post has definitely made me realise how much I have experienced throughout the past seven months. Even though I wrote a self-reflective blog at the end of 2022, I didn’t fully take into account the life changes I have been through. This process of reflection has reminded me of the importance of routine, something which I didn’t really establish when I moved back to Leicester temporarily. My mind and my mood was and has been all over the place, as I had gone from living with my ex to moving back in with my parents (when I thought I had flown the nest), and now I am living independently. The uncertainty and changes have at times been challenging for me to comprehend, and may have been easier to do so with a routine in place.
While I was living in Leicester, I became comfortable being back with my parents (i.e., putting on body weight). Of course, I am so grateful that my parents let me move back in. I occasionally practiced meditation, although the dogs definitely helped with my mental health, and being in the company of my family was nice as well. I was training for my second half marathon whilst being back in Leicester, although my determination had somewhat diminished, especially with buying my new home and adjusting to living with my parents.
When I seriously started to look after my mental health two years ago, I established a routine which made me feel happier and healthier in myself. My routine included things like being more conscious in my food choices, practicing mindful eating, minimising screen time on my phone (e.g., scrolling through Facebook) etc. I wrote about the changes I made in two blog posts about the importance of self-care, which you can access in the following links (Post #1; Post #2).
Having a routine can help you to feel more grounded and manage daily stresses as they arise. Sticking to my routine may have helped me whilst adjusting to recent major life changes, especially with managing the stressful situations I encountered. Of course I am very fortunate to have such a strong support network through my family, friends and work colleagues; they have all definitely helped me navigate the changes over the past seven months.
Since moving into my new home, I have been trying to re-establish a routine to fit around my new way of living. I have started running again after work, aiming for at least twice a week. The National Running Show reignited my interest and it helps that it’s not as dark in the evenings when I finish work. I’m also trying to focus on mindfulness through regular meditation and observing my surroundings when I walk to work. It helps that I’m about a 20 minute walk away from the office, which is a nice way to start and finish my day, and fit in exercise. I bought myself a colour in calendar which includes a design for each month of the year. I find colouring relaxing and a way to wind down with music playing in the background.
January took 3 hours to colour in!
Despite everything that I’ve experienced, I feel happy more than anything to have my own place to call home. I always try to maintain a positive outlook on life and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. A year ago I never dreamt I would be living on my own in my own house, but here I am. I will definitely aim to keep to a routine, so that I feel more grounded and ready for whatever the next major life change will be.
After almost two years of living with varying levels of restrictions, today marks the end of all COVID-19 regulations in England! The most notable difference is not having to self-isolate if you test positive or show coronavirus symptoms (although you are advised to do so). Lateral flow tests are no longer available free of charge and contact tracing has been scrapped. Many people are hailing today as ‘Freedom Day’, although this was previously referred to in July 2021 when mask wearing and social distancing was no longer required.
Despite the progress which has led to today’s easing of all restrictions, the feelings have all been but bittersweet. Rather than seeing stories of people’s joy in England from having their freedoms back, anxiety and dread have been fuelling the news from Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. I was hoping to finish my series of Keep Calm and Carry On posts which have been focused on the pandemic in the UK since March 2020, but now I could end up continuing to write these posts about the Russia/Ukraine crisis.
Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is dominating the headlines and causing uncertainty across the world. I didn’t really know much about the crisis before, but now I understand why it has escalated. There has been tension over the past few weeks, with slight glimmers of hope that Putin would not impose a full-scale invasion on Ukraine. Unfortunately, I woke up this morning with a BBC News notification on my phone that the invasion had begun in the early hours.
Modern technology facilitates the ability to access real-time updates and eyewitness accounts of the invasion on social media. This makes it all the more horrifying and it is heart breaking to see people who have been displaced by this crisis. The news today is a real tragedy and my heart goes out to all affected, whether they are Ukraine citizens fleeing the country they call home, and those who are concerned about their family and friends in Ukraine and/or Russia.
Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, people have demonstrated unity and solidarity in our continuing battle against the disease. Unity and solidarity once again are being demonstrated with support from across the world towards Ukraine. For example, neighbouring countries around Ukraine are already providing help for refugees. While it is uncertain what will happen over the next few days, it is important to remain resolute and hopeful that countries across the world will unite against what many are referring to as an horrific event, which was once thought to only belong in the history books.
Mental health never used to be a topic which was explored or discussed on my blog. The early days of my blog were driven by gender equality issues, training for my first 10km Race for Life (which eventually led to completing a half marathon in 2017), and homemade recipes, particularly with a focus on vegetarian options. All of these topics are passions of mine, hence why I refer to myself as a ‘Feminist Fitness Foodie’. I have only been writing about mental health recently this year, as the pandemic had started to take its toll on me in the New Year and it really honed in on me how important it is to look after your mental health. I have therefore decided to write about my mental health journey to raise awareness for World Health Mental Day (Sunday 10th October), and explain how my life has changed for the better since taking advice fully onboard.
My Journey
I have always been a ‘worrier’, one to over-think things even throughout my childhood. For as long as I can remember, my parents have told me on several occasions to ‘to stop panicking Mr Mainwaring’ (I’ve only recently learnt this is a Dad’s Army reference) and to take my time and slow down. I usually spend time replaying past conversations and scenarios in my head. Even though I try not to concern myself too much with what people think of me, I look over conversations and interactions with others again and again, and think how I can be better next time. I remember times when people have referred to me as a ‘cry-baby’ when I became emotional over things that seemed trivial and to ‘get over it’. Crying for me was (is) a coping mechanism and usually I felt (feel) better after a crying session.
It was only at the start of this year that I started to acknowledge that I’m an anxious person. I don’t remember being referred to as anxious or suffering from anxiety throughout my childhood and early years of adulthood. On reflection, I find this surprising especially since the younger years of a person’s life sees the most changes/events which can cause feelings of anxiety (e.g. puberty, exams, moving home, finding a job etc.) Maybe it was because I wanted to demonstrate that I can manage everything effectively in my life. For instance, I have always considered myself an organised individual with good time management skills. Whenever I experience difficulties which cause me to appear disorganised with poor management of my time, I sometimes feel like a failure and worry what people will think of me.
I had been showing signs of poor mental health towards the end of last year and my other half, family and friends were concerned. The smallest of things were making me feel overwhelmed and I was feeling stressed, with frequent crying episodes. It was finally at the start of 2021 that I acknowledged the need to make changes to my life to start looking after and improve my mental health.
Positive Changes
I have written several posts on the changes I’ve made to my lifestyle since the New Year, the most notable example being incorporating meditation into my daily routine. Never had I considered meditation before in my life but since taking up the practice of being mindful, I have never looked back. I feel more appreciation for those who are important in my life and have a heightened sense of wellbeing. Meditation has taught me how to ease feelings of anxiety and stress, while adopting a different approach towards managing various aspects of my life. When I start to feel anxious, I take a step back along with a few deep breaths, which makes me feel more at ease and places me in a better position to tackle life’s daily stresses as they arise. Meditation has also helped me to slow down and take my time, rather than rushing and always being in the fast lane. Being in this state for long periods of time can lead to exhaustion and burnout (I can recall many situations where I’ve unnecessarily felt exhausted).
Meditation is a great way to look after your mental health and makes it easier to incorporate other beneficial changes to your lifestyle. For example, I completed a one week guided programme in February called Mindful Eating, via my Fitbit. The programme involves daily meditation exercises designed for mealtimes and helps you become more appreciative of food by observing the taste, texture and smell, and even considering where your food has come from. Since completing the programme, I have been eating at a much slower pace, which in turn has led to reduced portion sizes, making more informed food choices and feeling more content after meals.
Looking after my mental health has also helped me to improve my physical fitness. Meditating has enabled me to feel more appreciative of my body and the achievements it has accomplished. This encouraged me to get back into my fitness in the New Year and as a result, I am running faster than ever before. I recently achieved my personal best at the Kingsbury Water parkrun, completing 5km in 31 minutes and 10 seconds, and I will be running 10km at the Bedford Autodrome next weekend! The difference in my fitness now compared to the early days of my blog is truly phenomenal – I never thought that looking after my mental health would make such a difference to my physical health.
Throughout the past six years, I have written via my blog about the struggles with losing weight and trying to maintain a healthier lifestyle. The issue for me has been trying to stick to new routines which over time become second nature. I’m thrilled that the positive changes I’ve made to my lifestyle have finally stuck; they have become habits! Just by taking care of my mental health, I have found it so much easier to become a healthier individual and happier in myself. I have also found that I’m losing body weight at a slower but much more sustainable pace (I’m so close to the two stone mark!).
A calming October afternoon walk
Education and Support
Looking back at my childhood and early adult life, mental health wasn’t really taught or discussed at primary and secondary school. I learnt about the basics for good self-care, such as regular exercise and a healthy diet, but the importance of looking after your mental health was not something I remember being informed about. I spoke to my teachers about being bullied and the high expectations I felt to always perform well at school (which was one of the reasons I was bullied), so the teachers were supportive in my times of need. I imagine there were support services in place for parents to help children who needed guidance and advice, but this may not have been seen as a requirement for me at the time (I didn’t hear about such services). I don’t remember hearing the words ‘mental health’ at school.
I remember feeling overwhelmed on a few occasions throughout college and university, with the changes in learning, getting to know new people and managing multiple deadlines. I didn’t want to appear weak, so I kept myself reserved and managed through these challenges without reaching out for support (except for maybe a chat here and there with a close friend). I had a few crying episodes and felt better afterwards, but I didn’t let people know this was how I coped with being overwhelmed. Upon reflection, I now see my feelings of being overwhelmed as completely natural and I could’ve reached out for support, but I don’t believe I would’ve felt comfortable in doing so at the time.
Throughout my working life I’ve joined webinars about mental health, even though I didn’t think they really applied to me; I was very wrong in making that assumption! Mental health applies to every single person. We all have it and it is crucial that we look after our mental health, just like our physical health. I joined webinars to learn about spotting the signs of poor mental health and how you can help others, but I didn’t think that I would need support. I reached out for support at the start of the year through family and friends, and even a counsellor who provided impartial advice which I continue to follow to this day.
There were support services available at my college and both universities I attended, especially since these times in a person’s life involve several transitions and lifetime changes (e.g. achieving specific grades for university, moving away from home for the first time, managing finances, relationships etc.). All students were given advice on how to prioritise their time effectively, so that they could achieve the grades they wanted whilst having a good balance across other aspects of their life, such as family, friends, exercise and relaxation. I remember one of my English Literature lecturers saying that it was important to ‘check in with reality’, especially during intense periods of study before exams. I felt that I took all of this advice on board, but I now recognise that all of this was essential in maintaining good mental health – it just wasn’t specifically referred to in this way.
Mental health is definitely being discussed more openly and there are positive changes happening, such as employers allowing for ‘mental health days’ to help employees manage their mental wellbeing, and companies implementing mental health and wellbeing policies. I definitely feel more confident in discussing openly about the topic with family and friends. The support for mental health has been available for a long time, but educating more people on the importance of looking after ourselves seems to have become more prominent in recent years, especially with the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on people’s mental health. I have recently written two blog posts on the importance of self-care, which provide simple tips and advice on looking after your mental health.
This year I have built the foundations for living a happier and much more fulfilling life. While I still struggle with certain things, my resilience to managing life has grown and how I react to situations is gradually improving. Prioritising my mental health has naturally led to me looking after my fitness and eating healthier, with the occasional treat.
Reflecting on my mental health journey has enabled me to realise that it relates to all aspects of my blog. Interestingly, the theme for this year’s World Mental Health Day is ‘Mental Health in an Unequal World’. The pandemic has clearly demonstrated the inequalities across the world due to race, gender and human rights, which have an impact on people’s mental health. I think it will be slow progress, but hopefully the world will start to move forward for the better with equal opportunities and access for all.
Even though you will have heard this many times, but please do remember to be kind. You don’t know what people are going through and the stresses they are facing, just like they don’t know what you are dealing with. Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself, and you will help to set the foundations for a happier and fulfilling life not just for yourself, and for others around you.
Happy reading and blogging, and remember to look after yourself!
It was five years ago on the 5th March that I had a light bulb moment while training for my first 10km Race for Life. I had been thinking about writing a blog while I was an undergraduate, but what to write about… I didn’t know. But then it came to me all of sudden, why not write about my fitness journey? I was training regularly in 2015 in anticipation for my first 10km run, so I documented my progress via my blog and acted on advice/feedback from fellow bloggers and readers.
While training, I was studying a Masters degree in English Literature with feminism as a key focus for my dissertation, which was about British female poetry of the Second World War. I also kept bloggers/readers informed of the progress on my dissertation, which I completed in September 2015 and followed with my graduation in January 2016. As a firm believer in feminism, I decided to advocate equality by writing blogs on issues which women, in particular, are confronted with, including body hair removal, the negative stigma around periods and the call for banning high heels in the workplace.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been a foodie. I love good food, eating out, trying new dishes, baking, cooking, attending food festivals… you get the idea! When starting my blog, I had decided to give up meat for lent for the first time in my life. I do like vegetarian options, so I experimented during lent by having a go at making meat free dishes, such as vegetable lasagne, sweet potato skins and stuffed peppers. Most recently I made some carrot and parsnip soup which is perfect for the cold and wet weather. I abstained from meat for lent again for the next three years, and continued to post homemade vegetarian recipes. I do have a sweet tooth as well, so occasionally I make cakes for special occasions including birthdays, charity events and seasonal times (e.g. Easter and Christmas).
I can’t believe it has been five years since I started my blog! A lot has happened over half a decade of my twenties, which has been documented through my posts. I’ve had various ups and downs in my personal life, which at times has affected how much I have written. There have been occasions where I wondered if I could keep my blog going, but I’ve persevered and am still going strong to this day. For instance, my most recent revelation is being diagnosed with gout in my hands, which causes shooting pains in my fingers and wrists and can make performing certain tasks feel slightly uncomfortable. However, I am not letting this stop me from continuing with what I love… blogging!
My blog has mapped my journey from being a postgraduate student to finding my way through the workplace and getting my feet up the rungs of the career ladder. I started off my blog weighing probably about two – three stone lighter than I am now, but I have achieved great things in my fitness journey, most notably completing a half marathon. I have also explored my views on gender equality through blogging, and helping to spread the feminist message across.
I am so proud that my blog is still going, and I’m so grateful to you for reading and engaging with my posts. I’d like to say thank you to my family and friends, and to you for your support. Writing is one of my passions, and it’s nice to have a platform where I can share my feminist fitness foodiejourney. I hope to carry on with my blog for ongoing future… who knows where I will be this time in five years?
A year ago today my blog was born! I still remember the day when I was jogging in the early morning along the canal when it suddenly occured to me that I could blog about my ongoing training and progress for my first long distance run.
I’ve come a long way since then. While I am about a stone heavier than I was a year ago, I consider myself fitter than I ever have been. I can run 10km non-stop in over an hour (my current record is 1 hour and 8 minutes!). I still eat sweet sugary snacks and desserts but I eat far more fruit, vegetables and salad than I used to. I aim to do intense exercise twice a week, something I never thought I’d do while I was a teen. I never ever thought I could be fit.
An important thing is I feel far more confident about myself. I believe I can accomplish greater things in terms of fitness. I will complete my first half marathon this year (in October). I have debunked the myth that you have to be thin to be fit, which I used to believe as a youngster, when my PE teachers would give me lower grades for ability just because I was overweight. That is definitely not the case.
I also feel much more informed about feminism. I was a bit worried at first about posting feminist blogs and issues concerning sex/gender, but all the ones I have done so far have been well received, and have even provoked discussion amongst readers and bloggers! I find the feminist blogs on WordPress so interesting and informative, and I’ve learnt so much from them as well, such as other people’s opinions of modern-day feminism and what it means to them. The blog I am still proud of to this day is the one about body hair– this one seems to have caused the most discussion.
My blog has come a long way since day one. I’ve blogged about all sorts of stuff, such as when I was writing about my dissertation for my Masters, reviews of gigs and even nostalgic activities, from making ironing bead patterns to colouring in!
Over the year though, I have aimed to become much more refined in what I blog about, hence why I changed my orginial colloquial tag line ‘Ey up’ to ‘Feminist Fitness Foodie’. This way bloggers will know what material I post. I used to post poems onto my blog but then I decided to set up a separate WordPress site called ‘Poclaretry’.
I’d like to say a big massive thank you to everyone who reads my blog and supports me by giving me ideas to write about and general encouragement. When I started blogging I thought it would be difficult to keep it going, especially while I was studying my Masters. However, I enjoy it so much and the topics I write about are always relevant to today in some shape or form. Blogging was actually a way for me to relax while I was studying (maybe procrastination too!) and many people seemed interested in my research when I blogged about it. I’m also grateful for the advice and comments I have received from bloggers and readers during my fitness journey.
I still can’t believe I’ve been blogging for a year- here’s to another year!
I now officially have a Masters degree in English Studies! I found out my results late Monday evening, when I saw on Facebook that one of my class mates had announced their results. I have been away in St Albans this week to see my boyfriend, so I have only been able to get round to announcing this on my blog now.
I started my blog around the time when I needed to start thinking about what to write for my dissertation. Throughout the summer months I worked hard on research, reading, planning, writing 15,000 words, editing and proofreading, finally handing it in on the 14th September, one day before the deadline. I also wrote many blogs on the progress of my dissertation and what it was about.
My dissertation is called ‘Fo(u)r Women: British Female Poetry of the Second World War’. I enjoyed researching early twentieth century poetry by several women. I could have written about so many women who are worthy of recognition, but I limited myself to Vera Bax, Alice Coats, Wrenne Jarman and Sylvia Read.
The front page of my dissertation
Contents page
Opening pages on the chapter on Vera Bax
I can’t wait to graduate again! It is almost a year ago since I graduated from my undergraduate university in the beautiful St Albans cathedral. As far as I know I’ll be graduating with my Masters in January 2016.
On another note of success, this is my 100th post! I am so glad to have reached this amount of posts because I have found blogging to be enjoyable, fun and educative. Thank you everyone for your ongoing support and for those new to my blog. Because of your supportive comments and positive feedback, I am determined to continue writing posts on feminism, my ongoing quest to lose body weight and become fitter, quirky homemade recipes and my own poetry.
A big thank you to Jen, aka. A Venturing Girl, for nominating me for the Creative Blogger Award!
It is nice to know that people enjoying reading my blogs, and I’m sure it will be reassuring for you bloggers out there to know that I enjoy reading your great content. I’ve only been blogging for 3 months so far, but in that time, I have discovered the engaging, friendly and vibrant online community of WordPress, and I’m sure I have many more interesting people to yet discover!
Here are the rules for the award:
1. Thank and post the link of the blog that nominated you.
2. Share five facts about yourself to your readers.
3. Nominate 10 other blogs and post their links.
4. Notify all nominees via their social media/blogs.
5. Pass these rules on to them.
Five delightful facts about Clare Bear
1. My dream and life goal is to be a published and established poet!
2. I love music and I don’t know where I’d be without it; for as long as I can remember I have sung in choirs and played the flute, and I intend to continue this for the rest of my life.
3. Benedict Cumberbatch attended the world premiere of Codebreaker in April 2014 at the Barbican in London, a piece of music which explores the life of Alan Turing, which I sang in! It was commissioned for the Hertfordshire Chorus, a choir I was proud to be a part of for two years while I was studying as an undergraduate. More details about this are in one of my previous blogs.
4. I love tomato ketchup, tomatoes cooked into dishes and tomato flavoured things, but not the actual tomato itself! The same applies to strawberries.
5. I played the role of a prostitute in a college production of Sweeney Todd in 2009… voice parts in the choir were split into different roles, so sopranos were prostitutes, altos were beggars and tenors and basses were police officers!
Clare Bear 